9.22.2008

Different dream for a different time

It is with a conflicted and disappointed heart that I decided this past weekend to not apply for spring admission to NYU’s Food Studies program. Additionally, I’ll be dropping the Agriculture class that I am currently taking as a non-matriculated student. And I'm trying with all my heart to convince myself I haven't failed.

It is perhaps understating it when I say that I have overextended myself lately, overwhelmed and excited by all the opportunities NYC has presented to me in the two years I’ve lived here. Working full-time, being a wife and mother, blogging, reviewing for School Library Journal (which I’m also taking a sojourn from), publishers’ events, foodie lectures, French classes… And now a class with 100+ pages of academic text to read each week, not including the numerous writing projects that entails… It’s too much and I'm having to give up so many things that are imporant to me. Something has to give.

The good news is that the blog is staying. When I was going down the list of things I could cut, I said, “What about the blo –?” to the Husband. I didn’t get out the whole word “blog” before Adam cut me off and reminded me how much I love it here. This must stay. It’s a good constant.

Ultimately, what the awesome Husband pointed out was that our best moments have been when we have been doing nothing: cooking chili all day on a Sunday, picnicking in Central Park, apple picking in the fall, examining an ant on the sidewalk with Kiddo. Though I suppose you can hardly call these things “nothing.” Fall is my favorite season and I would hate to miss it because I’m writing a paper on 19th century agriculture in America. I’m choosing fall, family, friends, and food. Agriculture and waste in the urban environment will have to wait.

Eat, drink, and get busy living.

3 comments:

kristin cashore said...

Laura, I was *already* amazed with everything you manage to do, even before you started that class. I can understand your disappointment, but can I just put in a big fat vote for "you are not a failure?" You're an inspiration. Seriously.

For selfish reasons, I'm glad you love the blog and want to keep it up. :o) Good luck finding the balance. And when you do, let us know the secret, won't you?

Laura Lutz said...

Aw, Kristin! You are too sweet! Oh, I am on a MISSION to find the balance...and OF COURSE I'll send the secret on to you once I find out! 8-)

And since you're hanging out on my blog and everything, I'll take my chance to say CONGRATS on those starred reviews...though I can't say I'm surprised. I was crushing on Graceling this past January, and I'm thrilled to hear all the accolades. You deserve it!

kristin cashore said...

Hey, thanks, Laura!

Off to go read about L.M. Montgomery and try not to get too sad.... :o( No kidding about giving new meaning to the phrase ""depths of despair."